Gifts of the Spirit

1 Corinthians 12:8- For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; 9- To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; 10- To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:

I have been pondering the gifts of the spirit, especially the gift of healing.  There have been so many, many times in my life that I wished the gift of healing was my spiritual gift.  As I have seen the physical suffering of others, I wish I could take from them their suffering.  Not just my own family members, but certainly and especially my own family members.  Then I remember that sometimes our suffering is for our own good...that God in his infinite wisdom has a plan, and perhaps the suffering we encounter throughout our lives is actually part of that plan.  Who am I to know what good could come from such suffering?  And if I could remove one's suffering, would I be interfering with that perfect plan that God has for that individual?

As my husband's health deteriorates with age, and his suffering increases, I long to relieve that suffering.  It's hard to see one hurt and believe it could be for the good of that individual.  And yet, I have come to the conclusion that were I able to heal, I would want to heal all suffering without thought of any blessings said suffering could bring the sufferer.

So, instead of the gift of healing, perhaps I need the gift of strength to watch the suffering of others and the gift to be satisfied to do what small things I, as a mere human being, can do to comfort those who suffer.